Memories for a Lifetime

I have to admit. I forgot what today was. I forgot that two years ago was one of the hardest days for my family. We lost someone to dear to us. Someone we thought, even though all the signs were telling us otherwise, he would be around for longer. We lost my step-dad, Daw. He was there for me from the age of 4 until the day he died. He was the one who taught my softball team, he was the one to "interview" my boyfriends when they would pick me up for a date to see if they had a chance with me, he was the one who would be at every singing competition and support me the whole way. He was my Daw.

Justin and I found out at Christmas we were expecting our first born but with so many friends struggling with infertility we decided to wait to tell the world until after my first trimester. But, we were in my hometown when I took the pregnancy test and everything we discussed before we actually had a plus sign on the stick went out the window. Within a minute of seeing a sign that would forever change our lives, I ran into my mom's room to tell her the good news. Seconds later, Daw, my brother, Braxton, and my cousin, Nickole, knew too. From what I understand, the secret was ours until me and Justin decided to tell the rest of the family. So, Valentine's weekend, we went home to tell the whole family. We had a great lunch to announce the newest member's arrival being September 2008 and decided to go bowling with my mom, Daw, Braxton, and Sam, Braxton's girlfriend. Daw had so many health scares the past couple of years and his health was slowly deteriorating, more than we even could bare to realize. That night I saw my Daw come to life. He had lost a leg and was very self-conscious about having a prosthetic leg and always using a crutch to stabilize him that going bowling was the last thing he would want to do. But I remember years before him being on a bowling league and being amazing at it. So, after a night of laughs and him teaching Justin how to bowl his best ever, we turn around to see Daw pick up a bowling ball and throw it down the lane. He still had it in him!

The next morning we were into our normal routine, hit the showers and get dressed for church. But, that wasn't what happened at all. My mom comes in and yells for help. We run to the master bathroom and find my step-dad lying on the floor. My mom and Justin start trying to bring him back while Nickole calls 911 and I find Braxton to contain him from seeing his dad on the floor lifeless. The moment I saw him, I knew. Daw was gone. His spirit was no longer there. In a moment like that, you don't know how you will react. I felt helpless and couldn't help in the way I wanted to so I found Braxton and we held each other and cried, cried to God to save him. But God needed him more than we needed him.

It was a bittersweet trip. We went home to tell of a new life being formed inside me and left losing a loved one.

God knows best. He gave us Haisley to look forward to and to make some of the mourning process lessen. Even though Daw never met Haisley, I have had several moments with God where he has told me Daw has met Haisley. He has held her in his arms and smiled and was proud of his first grandchild. When I wanted to curl up into a ball and just quit, God held me and told me it was going to be okay. And it has been more than okay. It has been wonderful. Haisley has blessed our family and made some days that seemed impossible become possible. My mom has remarried a great man and is putting the pieces back together. My brother is about to start his senior year in high school and talking colleges. My brother, a college student soon. Wow, time flies! So, yes, today is an anniversary of the day we lost someone that will never be replaced but we have so many memories and a future that he gets to look down on and smile :).

Here's a video (click on the word "video") that was played at his funeral. It's of him speaking at the Father's Day before he passed away at church about what being a dad means to him. It's something we get to keep forever and for that I am grateful.